Doof 'n' Puss: Ham on Rye, Hold the Mayor Part 2
by Boolia
Summary: The epic conclusion to Doof's cartoon in 'Nerds of a Feather'. Can Doof 'n' Puss defeat the vampire ninjas and the shape-shifting monster? One-shot.


Doof 'n' Puss: Ham on Rye, Hold the Mayor: Part 2

R.I.C.K: Previously on Doof 'n' Puss. Basically, Mayor Doofenshmirtz had been acting oddly, like transforming into a wolf with fiery, red eyes, and runs off howling into the misty night. Now Doofenshmirtz agrees with me: that it is unusual. So, I send him and Perry to go see what's going on. They try to perform a magic trick…but that's not important…_yada…yada….yada_. The mayor finds out…_yada….yada…yada_. They get locked in a storage closet with the real mayor. So, Doofenshmirtz and Perry go to city hall where the fake mayor is about to pass new, pro ninja vampire laws. Doofenshmirtz then points to him and tells him to 'freeze punk-fake mayor guy!' The 'mayor' then transformed into a big pint monster with muscles And now that you're all caught up to speed, it's time for part two.

The monster hopped off the stage. Frightened citizens screamed and ran for cover. As the monster approached Heinz and Perry, he tossed chairs out of the way.

_"Whoa_!" Doofenshmirtz observed. "_Somebody _needs to take an Anger Management course!"

When the monster was near them, he rolled back his head and roared loudly. He then looked back at Doofenshmirtz and growled, foaming at the mouth. Doofenshmirtz offered his hand and petted him, giving him a nervous smile.

"_Nice, nice, big, scary, monster!_" The doctor laughed nervously. This made the monster mad, he growled some more, showing his large, pointy, incisors. _"Oooh_, look at your super, pointy teeth!"

Just as the monster was about to take the doctor's arm off, Perry, with wide eyes, pulled him away. Dr. D looked at the monster. "I think this is a good opportunity to…_RUN FOR YOUR LIFE_!" The platypus and doctor run off as fast as they could. The giant monster roared again before chasing them.

"Oh, if only Ducky Momo were here!" Doof shouted as he ran. "He'd wave a magic wand, yell 'Eugie beugie weugie!' and make the monster vanish into thin air. That duck will then be a hero to us all!" Perry gave him a strange look. The doctor looked at the platypus. "_What? _I watch that show with the five-year old that I babysit for." Perry rolled his eyes. He knew the doctor was making an excuse.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry then backed into an alley. They looked back; they had run into a dead end!

"_Oh no,_ a dead end!" The doctor panicked, stating the oblivious. "What could be worse?"

Suddenly, twenty vampire ninjas spring out of the shadows, some of them readying their nunchucks and getting out their throwing stars.

"_Oh, no_! Not _them_ again! Unless one of us has a grappling hook that can latch us to the roof, we're _doomed_!" Perry got out his grappling hook, lassoed it above his head and latched it on the roof of the building. He then took Dr. D's hand and it pulled them up just before three throwing stars could make contact. They hit the wall of the building instead, making slight dents.

"_Come on_!" A Vampire Ninja, who seemed to be the leader, said to the others. _"Follow them_; make sure they don't get away!" The other vampire ninjas nodded and wall-jumped up onto the building.

When Dr. D and Perry got to the roof, the platypus put his grappling hook away. Dr. D looked at him in question.

"Where do you _keep _that?" The platypus didn't answer and led him to the edge. The ninjas were closing in on them from all sides, somehow having managed to surround them, teeth bared.

"What do we do now?" The doctor wanted to know. The platypus pointed from one rooftop to the next. Dr. D looked surprised.

"_What? Jump? _We can't! We're not ninjas like them; we don't have fantastic cat-like reflexes. Even though I am a fighting champion, I still flunked the jungle gym in grade school, remember? We'll fall to our deaths, thus, ending 'Doof 'n' Puss' forever!" Perry rolled his eyes, grabbed the doctor's hand and jumped onto the next platform. The ninjas did the same. Perry and the doctor jumped from building to building with the ninjas right behind.

"How many buildings are _in_ this district?" Dr. D wondered out loud. "You'd think by now— _WHOA_!" Perry pulled him back just as he was about to go right over the edge!

_ "Wow_! It's a good thing that you're here; I almost fell!" He and the platypus looked behind them. The ninjas had caught up to them! The leader took out his sword.

"Let's finish this!" He sneered.

"This is _cruel_!" Dr. D said. "Leaving an animal and a human without any weapons of our own. What are we suppose to fight you with, huh?" Perry took off his hat and took out a sword of his own. Dr. D was impressed.

"You know, you amaze me sometimes Perry the Platypus. But now I'm the defenseless one, where's my weapon?" The platypus took out another sword and tossed it to him. It dropped and Doof picked it up.

_"Hey, thanks_!" He said. He gave him the thumbs up. "You know, you really look out for me." Perry put his hat back on with a smile. He then looked at the ninjas with a look of determination. The ninja master sneered.

"This'll be fun." He and the platypus bowed (because that is what they do) and began their swordfight.

"And now, it's time for our battle." Another ninja went up to the doctor and took out his nunchucks. He swung them around. Dr. D poked him in the chest with his sword. The ninja winced in pain. He looked at the doctor with a new sneer.

"You'll pay for that!" he began fighting with his nun chucks. Dr. D fought back with his sword.

"You know," He spoke while fighting. "I'm surprising good at this."

"Well, you're still going _down!"_

"Not if I have anything to say about it." He poked the ninja in the ribs again. The ninja again winced in pain.

Perry's ninja swiftly hit Perry's sword so hard that it flew out of his hands! The platypus looked at his ninja wide eyed. He gulped as he fell onto his bottom and was forcefully inched towards the edge!

"This ends _now_, platypus!" His ninja said.

_"Hey_!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, seeing that his partner was in danger. He was so mad that he shoved his ninja, making him fall.

"You don't mind if I take these, do you?" He asked the fallen ninja. Before the ninja could answer, Doof picked up the nunchucks. "Thank you!" He then threw them and it hit the ninja master's sword out of his hands just as he was about to strike.

_"Hey!"_ He snapped, looking at Dr. D. He then put his hands up in fright when Dr. D came closer, pointing his sword at him. "Leave the platypus alone and you won't get hurt."

"Hey, cool it man!" The frightened ninja said. "I surrender, _okay?"_ He then ran off. Doof lowered his sword.

_"Huh_? That was easier then I thought." He looked at the fallen platypus and helped him to his feet. Perry smiled at him, which made the doctor blush. _"Please_, you watch out for me and I watch out for you, Perry the Platypus. That's how a partnership works." Perry's smile quickly faded and was soon replaced with fear as he saw the leader ninja, who was behind the doctor, about to strike his sword down upon him. Perry flailed his hands, trying to warn his partner.

_"What_? Why are you so frightened? You're acting as if a ninja is just behind me…_OOF!" _The ninja master struck… with the blunt handle of the sword. Doof screamed ashe lost his balance and fell. He then hung on to the edge for dear life.

"Oh, I get it. You were just trying to warn me of the upcoming attack." The leader smirked.

"You got that right!" He said. He stepped on Doofenshmirtz's hand with his foot.

"_OW_! You're hurting my hand!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Don't worry, it'll all end soon enough!" He lifted his sword above his head. Dr. D gulped. The ninja was about to strike when Perry kicked him in the face. The master ninja vampire screeched as he fell off the building.

"That was a close one." Dr. D screamed again. "HELP, I'M SLIPPING!"

As the doctor was about to lose his grip and fall to his doom, Perry grabbed his hand just in the nick of time. Doof sighed in relief. The platypus then pulled him up with all of his strength.

He fell exhausted when the doctor was all the way up. Dr. D was impressed.

_"Wow_! I'm impressed that such a little guy like yourself can pull up a fully grown 47 year old man!" They then stood up looking at the other ninjas, both with determination on their faces.

The ninjas slowly backed up, terrified, and fled.

"_No, no, no!"_ Shouted the angry monster, who had just climbed the side of the building. "What are you all _doing_? Finish them!"

_"Ha_!" Doof laughed. "Guess they turned into cowards! And hey, when you said, 'you want me, you can have me', I thought we'd be fighting you, not your ninja vampire buddies. You're not being true to your words!"

"I don't care, and it looks like I'll have to now. " He roared his roar again. "Prepare to be turned into extreme fighter of the future and platypus pancakes!" He raised his fist.

Before he could get turned into a Doofenshmirtz pancake from the monster's fist, Perry pulled him away.

"That was _close!_" Dr. D observed. Before the monster could do it again with Perry, the semi-aquatic mammal pulled away again. This continued for quite some time. Doof looked up at the monster, who was getting frustrated.

"Don't you get tired of this?" He asked. Perry then flung himself and clung to its face. The monster screamed, trying to get the fedora-wearing monotreme off.

"_GET HIM OFF, GET HIM OFF_!" The monster roared. The monster ripped the platypus off of him and threw him down. Dr. D gasped. The monster laughed.

"Looks like the 'puss' in 'Doof and Puss' is no more!" He laughed and laughed. Dr. D looked at him and growled in his throat.

"_Hey_!" He snapped. "You can't do that to my partner" He then punched the monster in the face. The monster tried to maintain his balance, but lost it and fell to the ground. Dr. D went to look over the edge, looking to see where his partner was.

"_Perry the Platypus_?" He asked. "_PERRY THE PLATYPUS_?" When he didn't see him. He feared the worst. He sat down and cried in his lap.

Perry, who had used his grappling hook to latch on an overhanging flagpole, had just flown back onto the roof. When he saw his sad partner, he chattered. Shocked, the doctor looked up.

"_Perry_?" When he saw him, the platypus gave him a thumbs-up. _In the flesh_! Dr. D beamed a smile. He wiped away his now happy tears.

"I thought you were gone pal." Perry walked up to him and offered him his hand. Dr. D picked up his sword, put it away and grabbed the platypus's. The two then swung off the building, with the help of the grappling hook, and landed just as an Animal Control truck drove off with the monster in the back. Roger went over to Dr. D and Perry. He extended his hand to them.

"I thank you for defeating that monster and putting that shape-shifting fiend behind bars."

"Oh, don't mention it." The doctor responded. "Always happy to help." He was about to shake the mayor's hand when a thought came to him. "Hey, are you the real mayor or are you the monster, posing as him? Because if you are, I'm not going to shake your hand." Roger chuckled.

"No, I'm the real deal." Dr. D looked skeptical.

"Are you sure?" The mayor laughed again.

"Yes, I'm sure." Dr. D looked at Perry.

"Is he telling the truth, Perry the Platypus?" Perry nodded. Dr. D turned back to the mayor.

"Well, if my partner agrees that you're real then I guess I can shake your hand." Dr. D shook the mayor's hand. Perry went up to Roger and shook his hand too.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" Dr. D. shrugged.

"Go home I guess until R.I.C.K needs us to kick butt again." He then looked at Perry. "Come on, Perry the Platypus." The platypus grabbed his hand and the two went off. Roger and the other citizens waved goodbye after them. Dr. D then looked back.

"Well, until next time, Doof ' n' Puss is out, _peace!"_ With that said, he and the platypus continued walking under the setting sun.


End file.
